If I am completely honest, NO…you are not fighting but enjoying one another right now and I am getting something done with out parenting for the moment.
” I need a break.” “I can’t adult today.” “Me, time.” I have found that seeking these things just makes me bitter about my calling. We had kids on purpose. Jesus places such high value on them. I used to be one!
One of my greatest memories growing up was some holiday in San Diego. Parking is like a whole personality there. She was pretty moody that day. We couldn’t find parking for our desired location so Mom and Dad just pulled over to a grassy spot somewhere near Mission Bay, I think. Dad, took us by the hands ( and legs! my fave ) and swung us round and round. We would be so dizzy we couldn’t walk straight and of course that provided so much laughter. I have no idea how long we did this….maybe 20 minutes. My parents didn’t spend money, there was no screen in sight, and yet it burned such a memory in my heart that its one of the great treasures of my childhood.
Talking to my parents now we relate on so many levels. Stay home, home educating Mom, and a Dad who is doing whatever it takes to provide for it. My Dad was probably tired. My Mom may have just wanted a day to herself but they where present and fun.
They took the time to pray with me every night and work through my questions, such as how can I trust a God I can’t see.
It’s so natural to be selfish. Seriously, its pretty much my normal but walking with Jesus I find that He has MORE for me than ME caring for MYself. He tells us to: “Cast your care on the LORD and He will sustain you….Ps. 55:22 “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you….” 1 Peter 5:7
Alone time isn’t a thing for me this year unless I get up at 5am. (which I often do) or someone blesses me with free child care. Paul is only home 2-3 days a week and of course we want to be a family those days. Don’t feel bad for us we chose this for a short time so that he can get his medic card. I am learning this profound truth that,
When I get weary and that is sometimes daily, I have been learning to trust God for refreshment. He is really good at it. ” I will REFRESH the weary and SATISFY the faint.” Jer. 31:25
Back to, ” Mom, do you want to play with us?”….yes. Here is the thing about WANTING. My want is in constant battle with my feel like it. My feelings are just as moody as the parking in Southern California! Do I WANT to play with my children and make those etched memories with them that I look back on in my own life. YES! What parent doesn’t. Do I FEEL like it at any given moment? Mostly no. I’m sure you can relate when I say our FEELINGS are not a good substitute for our God and yet we let them rule us.
When my kids ask if I want to play I usually don’t feel like it but I am choosing to say yes more reflexively because I truly do WANT to and I find that there is a sweet refreshing to be found is the simplicity and humor of these great blessings God has given me. I never regret slowing down to play with my people.